Hey!! Thanks for reading. Before I launch into the new items on my list I thought I’d update you on the amazing progress that I have made so far on items 1 – 6.
Item 1 – Become a Successful Blogger –
I decided that I was going to define success by finding out how many daily views I would need to be able to negotiate with Big 4 about how many extra children I had to pay for. So I emailed their head office directly and asked. AMAZINGLY – they read both my blogs (Frankie and The Tramp & Nobel Adventures) and said that they liked my blog and that next time I intend on going to a Big 4 I should email them about my plans!! Success achieved!! Although not really. Today my blog had 7 views and I’m pretty sure that I account for at least 3 of those as I keep having check what items 1 – 6 are to make sure I am working on them properly.
I have been reading articles that are written successful bloggers detailing how they achieve success. They say you need to identify your target audience. My target audience is those who want something else to do on the toilet, other than playing candy crush, or those that want something to read in bed that will easily put them to sleep. I used to read trashy magazines before bed. I didn’t want to read anything riveting as then I don’t fall asleep but instead stay up late reading. About 6 years ago I gave up trashy magazines and took up iPhone gaming or Facebook stalking before sleep instead. I don’t have any riveting information to share. I’m not adept at make-up skills, most of the time my parenting could be described as borderline lazy, I can’t tell you how to make millions on the stock market and I can’t write a blog informing you on how to be a successful blogger. The only thing I can provide is meaningless dribble that might slightly entertain you while you either do your business or doze off to sleep.
They also say that you should comment a lot on other peoples blogs and make those comments compelling and witty. The blogs I’ve read so far are undeserving of any intelligent or witty comment…. to be honest they bore me. I need to do some more work finding interesting blogs.
Item 2 – Import ‘Ferrero Espresso to Go’ to Australia
I am not having much luck on this one, not from lack of trying. I now know so much about the company Ferrero that I almost feel a part of it. I have emailed Ferrero Italia again and have sent Facebook messages to some of the current members of the Ferrero family who still work for the company. I even emailed them in Italian. The following is an email I sent to Luca Ferrero:
Ciao, Mi chiamo Bianca Davis e di recente ho visitato l’Italia con la mia famiglia. Vivo in Australia. Mentre ero in Italia, ho acquistato un prodotto chiamato “Ferrero Espresso to Go”. L’ho adorato così tanto !! Mi piacerebbe diventare un distributore di questo prodotto in Australia. Ho acquistato un gran numero di Fererro Espresso per andare dall’Italia in Australia con me e il feedback è stato assolutamente positivo. Puoi consigliare come posso diventare un distributore di questo prodotto? O come posso importare questo prodotto? I migliori saluti,
Luca has read my message (I can see his head next to what I wrote) but no response. I also emailed a company called Atlantic Grupa who I think is vaguely connected with Ferrero. No progress yet but I am NOT giving up.
Item 3 – Europify my home
My bid to Europify my home is off to a brilliant start. I purchased two hanging baskets and two types of flowers that look pretty in hanging baskets and they are already up!! I am aiming to put up 2 a week and want 12 altogether. I’m spreading it out so Ben doesn’t freak out about the amount of money I’m spending to Europify our house.
Ben forbade me from hammering hooks in to the awning so he did that. He also forbade me from touching the potting mix unless I wore a hazmat mask (which I declined) on account of legionaries disease. I’m pretty sure I’ve handled potting mix numerous times without a mask on but I let him do it rather than listen to a lecture on how quickly one can die from legionaries disease.
Kids and I also planted some pots with lavender seeds in. We didn’t wear a mask but Ben watered the dirt down to prevent us from dying an untimely death.
Item 4 – Budgeting
Item 5 – Googa Experience
IT’S HAPPENING!!!! Tomorrow I am heading off on my lonesome with a backpack, Rohan’s tiny tent plus his survival gear and not much else. I am heading over to Moreton Island on a boat and won’t even be able to resort to sleeping in my car. I am really excited!! I am planning on taking a computer so I can blog but I am forbidding myself from using any internet – even on my phone (I will disable internet access).
Rohan has taught me how to put his one man tent up and also taught me how to use his cooking gear. His cooking gear seems waaaay too complicated so I’m leaving it behind and will survive on a pre-packed salad from woolies, blueberries and various other junk food. Plus. I don’t want to have to wash up and cooking anything would definitely require subsequent cleaning of cooking items.
I don’t think I could be less prepared if I tried. I’m imagining my 24 hours will be as riveting as an episode of ‘Naked and Afraid’ without the nakedness. In fact, on account of the potential mozzies/sandflies, there will not be a single inch of my skin available for them to suck on due to my clothes totally covering me.
The rules are simple. I have to get there myself. Set up myself and have 24 hours of solitude. I am NOT allowed to make friends with anyone else who happens to be in the campground or allow anyone to help me with my tent or anything else.
If I make it back alive (I am imagining that it could all go pear shape and I could end up the subject of one of the True Crime podcasts that I love) my next blog will be a detailed description of the Googa Experience I never had.
Item 6 – Keep the house clean for three whole days
Item 7 – Catch up with at least 4 of my Facebook ‘friends’.
Whenever I launch into a story about what is going on in so & so’s life Ben always looks puzzled and queries how I know all these people. “Facebook Friends” I say confidently. Ben claims that if you haven’t spoken more than a few fleeting words in real life to them in the last 10 years then they aren’t your friend. I beg to differ. So I am going to organise catch ups with people that I haven’t spent any length of time with in years. Anyone at a loss for something to do and would be happy to help prove Ben wrong and show that Facebook is an awesome medium for maintaining friendships without having the trouble of always having to have them over for BBQ’s or go to the movies is welcome to come over. I will make you macaroons.
Item 8 – Perfect the art of cooking Macaroons.
My last attempt looked like emoji poo’s. I don’t know why I want to conquer them… I just do. I don’t even like them very much. But I am helping organise a high tea for late October and I will be serving delicious and perfect looking macaroons – or will die trying.
Item 9 – Write something EVERY day till I turn 40.
I do have a half written book and one of my life goals has been to publish a book. Thankfully in this day and age you can publish your own book so I might be able to tick that one off without even going to the trouble of finding a publisher. I can just publish any piece of crap. Actually, when I was in high school I wrote a really dark poem that I am positive is a piece of literary genius. Maybe I’ll publish that anonymously??? But regardless, whether it is my blog, a pitch to a newspaper/magazine or just a piece of crap… I must put fingers to keyboards every day.
Item 10 – Go to a Buddhist Retreat
I’ve always wanted to go to one of these. The idea of eating vegetarian food, being silent and meditating bores/scares the crap out of me. But I like the idea of it. I have attempted meditation in the past but I always end up falling asleep.
Item 11 – Go on a Nudist Retreat or Visit a Nudist Beach
Similar to item 10 this is something that horrifies me. Which is why I want to do it. Pushing boundaries, being comfortable in my own skin, blah, blah, blah. I would also have to overcome my fear of germs….. the thought of sitting on something someone else just sat on in the nude makes me want to vomit. Perhaps I could carry around antibacterial wipes?? I would also need to keep shoes on so would not be totally naked. Shoes are where I draw the line. Without shoes, the baby soft skin on the bottom of my feet that hasn’t seen the light of day since – forever, would not cope walking around on gravel or even floors with bits of food on it. Unlike Ben and Rohan, who seem to have leather on their soles, my soles are the softest most beautiful part of all my skin.
Item 12 – Learn to like Cricket
Last year I begrudgingly accompanied Ben to some of the Brisbane Heat games. This year, I want to get right into it and use a clapper and dress up in Brisbane colours. Surely if so many people in Australia like it it can’t be that bad???
Anyway, that’s all for tonight folks. If you can help me out with any of my items please feel free to contact me. I am especially interested in speaking to anyone with importing experience and or successful writer insights.
Thanks for reading,