Paris Day 4 & 5 – someone farted on the train and you’ll never believe what happened next…

Welcome to my first clickbait title (suggested by Rohan).  Yes, people have been farting on the small and stuffy trains.  Mostly my lot who have been overdosing on all the fresh grapes, cherries, berries and summer fruits that Australia is currently lacking and Europe has an abundance of.  Nothing happened next besides waving of hands and lots of moaning about who the suspected offender was.

I am trialling clickbait techniques to try to get my followers up so that my “I’m a successful travel writer/blogger” claim at Cafe de l’opera was not such a massive extension of the truth.  Besides, I turn 40 in 7 months, 4 days and 16 minutes (France time) and one of my “Forty things to do before I’m forty” is to become a successful travel writer/blogger so I can get free stuff.  Anyone who helps me achieve this goal is welcome to come along on all the expenses paid holidays I’m imagining I will be offered.  If pretty, skinny, botox injected barbie dolls can get free stuff for doing duck faces on Instagram then I sure as Hell am going to try to get SOMETHING from the hours I spend blogging on my holiday (besides a lovely recollection that my offspring will cherish forever).

I needed to watch 3 Youtube videos on how to create clickbait titles and I still think my current one sucks… but we’ll see how it goes.

Paris Day 4 – DISNEYLAND THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!!!!

To be honest, Ben and I were dreading Disneyland and all the associated crowds.  We only had it on our agenda so that the kids didn’t mind being dragged to so many museums.  But honestly it was the most INCREDIBLE day – for everyone!! Even Ben enjoyed himself.

Ben and Rohan disappeared quite early on to go on all the rollercoaster rides while the girls and I queued up to meet Minnie Mouse, Cinderella and do a few of the little kid rides.  After waiting 45 minutes in a queue to see Cinderella she was everything Isabelle had ever hoped for.  Kylah sang to her “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” (from the Cinderella movie) and all the staff around Cinderella said they got goosebumps and tears in their eyes from her voice.  I had to pay Kylah 5 euro’s to sing though.  I keep saying to her – “sing whenever you get the opportunity!!  You never know who will be around.  Perhaps Andrew Lloyd Webber is at Euro Disney with his grandkids??”

Kylah went on some of the bigger rides with Ben and Rohan but preferred to stick with Jazzy, Isabelle and I as we did the more tranquil rides (It’s a Small World) and shopped.  We hardly saw any of Disneyland though.  Honestly, it is ginormous.  You would need at least 2 or 3 days in each park to see everything.  And everything is so impressive.  There are no cutting corners or bodging up bits and pieces.  It is immaculate and beautiful in every way.  Considering entry to Disneyland is comparable to Dreamworld or Movie World it is a complete mystery why the Aussie ones are not better maintained.  I guess they don’t get the visitor flow??

My favourite part of the day would have had to be running around Alice in Wonderland’s maze.  Isabelle was so excited and it was really tricky.  We kept getting lost but were laughing the whole time.  The end point of the maze was a massive castle and Kylah and Jazzy beat Isabelle and I there.

My recommendation for Disneyland is – DO IT!!!  But go for a few days, stay in the Disney Hotel and buy a fast pass!!  We didn’t have one but it definitely would have been handy.  There is something there that everyone will enjoy – even Ben, even oldies.

I have never seen my kids so happy and smiling so much ALL day long.  Thank you to everyone who told us we had to go.  I was very dubious about going (expense, too many people, too commercialised) but it was worth every cent, or should I say Euro.  We spent 10 hours in the park and still only saw about half of it.

Disney Pics will be underneath post.

Day 5 – Paris like a local

My beautiful friend, who graciously gave us her picturesque apartment to stay in, lives in an area of Paris that is not frequented by tourists so today we decided to have a chillaxing day and explore our neighbourhood.

Paris architecture is so unique and different to the architecture in England.  Both are so beautiful and overflowing with flowers and charm.  No offence to my homeland, but honestly a lot of Australia just looks like lego land.  No charm at all or ‘visual pollution’ as the French would say.  The only parts of Australia that are charming are the older parts where we were still heavily influenced by the British.

French people LOVE their flowers.  I have never seen so many florists in all my life.  There is at least 1 every 100m.  In fact, I would lay money on a bet that there are more florists in France than there are MacDonald’s.

Some of the streets we walked up today looked like they came straight out of the pages of the Beauty and the Beast story.  We wandered and wandered until we found what Kylah was looking for, a ballet shop.  With her spending money she bought a Repetto leotard.  I’m assuming it is a fancy French brand.  If not then lets just say it is.

We did our groceries in a Monoprix, which is the Paris version of Coles and Woolies.  I was not as impressed with Monoprix as I was Marks and Spencer (who STILL are not sponsoring my blog) but it was quite nice.  I bought the ‘essentials’, which included a trolley full of non-essentials, and then had to walk all the way back home lugging them with me.

Before I had come to Paris a Kiwi girl on a Youtube channel informed me that in Paris “Sports” refers to not just sports like tennis, netball, footy etc, but also to any kind of walking – even shopping!!  I found this hard to believe but now that I have been here for almost a week I am quite believing of it.  You need to walk EVERYWHERE and usually carrying a ton of groceries.  I definitely felt like I was participating in a sport.

Driving in Paris can be tricky and parking is hard to come by.  So most people just walk or catch public transport.  Ben is going to have to drive out of Paris tomorrow, when we pick up our hire car, and he has been studying up on French road rules (of course he has!!).  However, he found a comment on a site that said “These road rules do not apply in Paris where the rule is ‘every man for himself'” it also recommended that you learn the French word for “Fuck You” so that you can scream it out the window.  I’m trying to be helpful and whilst I have no interest in French road rules I have just looked up “fuck you” in French and apparently it is “Baise Toi”. Or you can say “je bias ta mere” which means “I fuck your mother”.  You can also use “Putain de merd” which means “fucking shit” or “whore of shit”.  You are very welcome Ben.  Don’t say I never help with anything.

I absolutely loved just hanging out in the local neighbourhood today and visiting local shops.  Everyone is so lovely, friendly and helpful.  The owners of the little corner store near the apartment now know me by name and even though they don’t speak English and I don’t speak French we have long in depth conversations using gestures and google translate.

I feel it would not be right to finish my blog on Paris without mentioning their bread.  Their loaves of bread are the best thing I have ever put in my mouth.  Absolutely to die for.  Why on Earth have Aussie bakers not jumped on the French bread making bandwagon???  Honestly, it’s like nothing I’ve ever tasted before.  And the cheeses!!!  Oh so many delicious cheeses and such a variety!  Every other grocery item is very limited in variety I’ve found with the exception of breads, cheeses and yoghurt.  The French loaves of bread make Aussie bread taste like cardboard.

After yesterday and today I am totally in love with Paris.  But only local Paris.  The tourist areas I can take or leave.  It is such a different lifestyle to what I am used to but I love it.  Ben has struggled a bit being in an apartment, surrounded by apartments with nothing to fix or build.  He definitely misses his space and his shed.

Tomorrow we are heading off for a few nights in the French countryside which I am super excited about.  I find the small towns/villages much more appealing than the big cities.

Thanks so much for reading!!  And remember my goal – please share away so I can unleash my revenge on the manager at Cafe De l’opera!!  Also, so I will be able to tick ONE thing off the list of “40 things to do before I’m 40”.   I suspect that these “40 things” will all be jam packed in to to the last couple of weeks before I turn 40 (if past experience is anything to go by).

B xx